


Carpenter Troubles

by Yatterqueen



Series: #END #GoblinNation [2]
Category: DC - Fandom, DCU (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 14:55:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7366126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wanted to write something involving Carmen Leno and... I did. That's all I really have to say about where this story came from, haha. </p><p>I did come up with a formula, so to speak, to write these stories. Well, I had been using it before, I just never used it consciously. I was having a hard time coming up with stuff and so, I wrote it out instead of just pantsing it and it worked! I know it's not very long but hopefully, this means more stories.</p></blockquote>





	Carpenter Troubles

It wouldn't be wrong for Harley to say Carmen has been moping since her girlfriend Bonny was arrested; it'd just be mean. Throwing the obvious in someone's face doesn't actually _help_ that person.

But telling Harley Quinn she isn't helping just inspires her to try something different, not give up. That’s why when Carmen hung up on her, Harley came over and _then_ called back.

Ten times.  

Fifteen now (she took a break for donuts).

Carmen answers finally, a very frustrated “WHAT!?” ringing through the phone speakers.

“Come out with me, Carmen!”

“I don’t want to.”

And so on, for five minutes, until Carmen relents. “If I come, you’ll leave me alone and let me be sad when we’re done?”

“You won’t _be_ sad when we’re done but it’s a deal.”

Another long sigh from the other end of the phone, but Harley’s succeeded in getting her friend out of the house. She tells Carmen to come meet her outside.

“You’re not out there already, are you?”

Harley hangs up instead of answering, smiling to herself.

<<>>

Jenna Duffy is a carpenter. For a while, she was _T_ _he Carpenter_. Yeah, she did the supervillain thing for a brief spell. It didn’t work and she made the decision to return to regular old carpenting.

Today, she’s working on the roofing of one of Pamela Isley’s gardenhouses. Ivy’s given her free reign of the workplace for a few hours, so long as she doesn’t mess with any of the plants.

She’s just taking a juice break when…

“Red, where are ya? Reeeeeed!”

That’s Harley Quinn, and Jenna feels her good mood evaporate.

“Hey, Jiminy, where’s Red at?” Harley asks.

“Pamela’s on vacation,” Jenna answers dryly. “So, feel free to go. Now. Like, right now.”

“I’m not goin’ nowhere, Jeanine. I brought my friend Carmen here to show her one of Ivy’s magical mood healing plants.”

“Ivy doesn’t have plants like that, Harley.”

“ _I_ know that but _she_ ,” points to Carmen, “didn’t! And ya’ went an’ ruined it for her, Jacinda!”

Carmen crosses her arms. “I _told_ you it waste of time.”

“Yeah, ‘cuz of _Jennica_ here,” Harley answers, advancing on Jenna, “I think I’m gonna’ teach her a lesson.”

“--you can’t kill her, Harley.”

Harley stops and turns around to face Carmen. “I wasn’t _gonna._ Just cuz’ I kill people sometimes doesn’t mean that’s my go to tactic.”

“You can’t beat her up either,” Carmen says.

“What am I supposed to do then? Give her a wedgie?” A lightbulb goes over the clown’s head as she gets an idea. “As a matter of fact...”

Her friend interrupts her train of thought. “What’s a wedgie?” asks Carmen.

“You don’t know?” Harley asks in response.

Carmen looks to Jenna for help and then back to Harley. “No? Should I?”

Harley shakes her head and turns Carmen around. “No, I’ll show you!”

“You can just -- ow, Harley!”

Jenna flinches at the strength of Harley’s pull, and Carmen’s heart print panties are pulled out of her skirt and up to her midback, eliciting a loud stretching sound. The worst is she keeps heaving back harder and harder, like she’s trying to get Excalibur out of the ground.

The carpenter can see Carmen’s face, and it’s twisted in a combination of discomfort and rage. Oh, Harley’s in for it when she lets her go and Jenna can’t say it’ll be happening to a less deserving woman.

“Harley, let me go-ow!”

Finally, Harley lets the underwear snap back and refocuses on Jenna.

“You and me, Karla, let’s go.”

Jenna sighs, “You’re not even trying anymore.” She turns around and assumes the position, placing her hands on a table. She _could_ fight Harley but what good would that do, really? If anything, it might make it _worse_.

Carmen bends over to catch her breath, one hand fixing her underwear, and her momentarily relief turns to anger.

She whips around to go after Harley, seeing her bounce the carpenter up and down by her white and black striped panties. It’s actually pretty funny seeing it happen to someone else, so Carmen sneaks behind Harley and waits for her to let go of Jenna.

 When she does (a solid five minutes later), Carmen rockets Harley off the ground by her red lace panties, lifting her up and away from Jenna.

“Owowowow! Carmen! Put me down!” After a while of struggling, Harley doubles over in the air. Not knowing much else to do, Carmen sets her down.

However, Jenna wants revenge. She grips one side of Harley’s underwear. “Grab the other side,” she tells Carmen.

Shrugging, Carmen does as she’s told. The two lift Harley into the air despite her protests (her many, _many_ protests).

“So, how’d you meet Harley?” Jenna asks.

“Merc stuff. It’s how you meet anyone in our line of work. You?”

“Did a job for Catwoman,” Jenna says. “Carpenting job. Got crazy but, well, I’m the only one that’s willing to work with the Gotham City Sirens.”

“Are you two done? This is actually starting to --ow!”

The two women bounce her to shut her up, going back to conversation for a while amids the popping sounds of the jester’s red underwear. They finally let Harley down after agreeing to lunch in a week.

“You two are pure evil,” Harley groans, laying on the floor with her underwear stretched out.

“Ding ding ding,” Carmen laughs. “But I’d say I’m more evil than she is. In fact, I can prove it.”

Jenna waves that off. “No argument here -- hey, put me down!”

Carmen, in a bout of pettiness, lifts Jenna off the ground by her underwear, carrying her around the gardenhouse in search of a hook.

“I thought we were friends now!” Jenna protests.

“Me and Harley are friends. See how that turned out for her? All I wanted was to be left alone at home to cry or some shit.”

Finding a hook on the front door, Carmen leaves Jenna up and then exits through. When she slams the door, the carpenter is bounced around some, even more so when Harley gets up to go after Carmen.

“Don’t leave me here!” Jenna pleads as Harley opens the door.

“Carmen’s still sad, so I still hafta’ take her mind off it. Instead of makin’ her happy, though,” Harley grins like the devil, “I’m gonna’ make her underwear _rip_. You, Alice, I don’t care about so much.”

“My name is --”

Harley shuts the door before she can finish.

Jenna sighs. She hates Harleen Quinzel. Carmen, not so much. Not yet, anyway. She takes her phone out of her pocket and phones Ivy, figuring she could come home early and get her down.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something involving Carmen Leno and... I did. That's all I really have to say about where this story came from, haha. 
> 
> I did come up with a formula, so to speak, to write these stories. Well, I had been using it before, I just never used it consciously. I was having a hard time coming up with stuff and so, I wrote it out instead of just pantsing it and it worked! I know it's not very long but hopefully, this means more stories.


End file.
